As Chilon of Sparta said: "Know thyself." And I've come to a horrible, gut-wrenching conclusion about myself. It's something that is undeniable and unchangeable, something that I will probably spend the rest of my life having to come to terms with.
I am completely and totally uninterested in sports.
I really am. Couldn't care less. And it's not because I haven't tried. I've actually read Football for Dummies. I attended Texas A&M University, where during the fall semester you can't walk ten feet without being told that you WILL love Aggie football. I've gone to baseball games. I've even watched ESPN and gone to Super Bowl parties. I've really, really tried.
But I just don't care.
Sports don't do anything for me. I have zero desire to sit on my couch with a bowl of potato chips and watch football on Sunday afternoon. I can think of nothing more boring than sitting through a nine-inning baseball game. I'll watch the Olympics, but only the far-out weird stuff, like the luge or fencing. And once the match is over, it deletes itself from my mind immediately.
And I'm not saying I'm uninterested in sports like some guys are. Even if you're not a big fan, you usually follow your local baseball team or cheer on the Americans during World Cup soccer. But I really don't care whether the Astros win. I don't lose a wink of sleep over whether or not the Texans win (which is good, since they suck). And I certainly don't care about the stats, abilities, or paycheck of individual players. And I really do just watch the Super Bowl for the commercials.
So I am forced to the dark halls of geekdom. I'll wear the facade at work, and gripe about how Donovan McNabb can't throw a ball, or argue whether Nolan Ryan was the best pitcher of the '90s. But deep down, I'm thinking about the next computer game I'm going to play (SimCity Societies) or what sci-fi movie I'm most looking forward to (I Am Legend). So forgive me if I show up at your football party and seem more interested in the french-onion dip than the game. Because I really do love french-onion dip.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
it all makes sense now.
That's what makes you so fun in the NCAA basketball tournament! Your strategies for picks are the most fun part of the tournament!
what about golf? How do you feel about golf?
How can an american man not have any passion for sports. The trill of competition. The glory of victory. This is what make the american man's soul trive and pulse.
I read your post out loud to Mowgli and C. They laughed appreciatively and then said, "It's not like we didn't already know . . . it's not like a big revelation to us!" But they really enjoyed it!
t - I can see how you think golf would be the way to go, but I really can't even stand golf. Nothing bugs me more than the fact that Tiger Woods gets paid $120 million to hit a ball with a stick.
magic - Don't misunderstand, I'm not opposed to competition or victory. I'll go head-to-head with you any day at Trivial Pursuit, Carcassonne, or Ticket to Ride. But those require "real" skill.
Post a Comment