The great questions of life

A friend of mine posed an interesting question to me today. Basically, she asked, “If a wizard turned you into a whale, would that be awesome?” This is the conversation that ensued by IM. I post it because I think it’s hilarious.

Friend
Hmm, I say No

Me
May I assume that I'm a KILLER whale, as shown in the picture?

Friend
You may

Me
Then, awesome. And I'd spend all day eating baby seals.

Friend
See, you had to go there, didn't you

Me
You make me a killer whale, and you expect me to NOT eat baby seals?! That's a lot to ask.

Friend
You should befriend a troubled preteen who has to do community service at the local sea life park for vandalizing their water tanks
And then Michael Jackson will write a song for you

Me
Can I eat the preteen at the end of their service time?

Friend
And you will take a mighty leap over the jetty in the ocean to escape the bad guys

Me
I mean, I'm a killer whale, I'm pretty hungry.

Friend
Yeah, because that kid was pretty annoying

Me
Yeah, he was. Can I eat Michael Jackson?

Friend
I don't know if you'd want to - I believe he's made entirely of plastic, polyester wigs, and eyeliner
Oh, and a single glove

Me
Maybe there'd be little nutritional value, but you'd certainly be doing the world a favor.

Friend
Yeah, I was going to say it might not be satisfying to your hunger, per se
But there might still me some gratification